Sony has just started a new ad campaign for their Sony Bravia HDTV line
of televisions. The new ads state that the Bravia is "the first television
for men and women."

The first television for men and women? As opposed to earlier televisions,
which I guess were for…uh, hermaphroditic worms, maybe? I wasn't even
aware that worms watched that much television.

The Sony Bravia HDTV

You can call me stupid, and you most likely will, but I just have NO
FRIGGING IDEA what "the first television for men and women" means. Have
we been living in some television-segregated society for the past 50
years, a country where men and women are forced to watch separate
televisions in separate rooms?

In search of that answer, and giving SONY the benefit of the doubt on
the commercial that the phrase might actually mean something, I visited
their web site. Unfortunately, no help there. I'm still in the dark.

I did find one interesting bit on their site, however. Under what they
call "Quick suggestions on the practical side of buying a new Sony
HDTV," they give tips to men and women (and I'm not joking) about what
to say to their mate to convince them to buy the new Bravia.

To women trying to convince their husbands, they recommend “It will save
money. Dinner and a movie can get really expensive. A new Sony HDTV will
really end up costing us less."

And to men trying to convince their wives, they suggest using “It's your
marriage. We’ll be able to cuddle on the couch and enjoy all those
romantic comedies. A new Sony HDTV will only strengthen our

Which only brought up another question. WHAT THE HELL do they mean by
"It's your marriage"? You know, I think the only person who could have
come up with that one must have been some advertising guy sitting in a
skyscraper in Tokyo doing ad copy after having ingested a couple of
quarts of sake.

Here are my recommendations.

For men trying to convince their wives, they could say "I swear, honey,
this IS NOT for football. Hell, I've got so much to do around the house
here that I don't think I'll ever get around to watching the damn thing.
But I have to admit that those Jane Austen movies that you like would
look pretty good on HDTV."

And for women trying to convince their husbands, perhaps "Those romantic
comedies just wouldn't look right on HDTV. We'd probably just end up
watching action movies all the time with lots of things blowing up. But
if you really want, well, I suppose I can't stop you. Here's the keys to
the minivan."

I guess I should really thank SONY for helping men and women to
communicate better with each other — at least about their television

More hyperreality.

More vacuousness.

More whiskey, bartender — and leave the bottle.