I've long realized that the only real solution to my problems is a magic
lamp. Such is the nature of my life. So I've been working with this
little lamp that I got from my Mom, who got it from somewhere or
other. It's used, of course, but it was my guess that it was pretty much
in the nature of magic lamps that they would be used, and not a lamp you
would get off the shelf at Wal-Mart. In the TV series I Dream of
Major Nelson found his magic lamp (and thus Barbara Eden)
on a beach on an island that he was stranded on. Other stories I have
heard where people find magic lamps they find them in a cave or buy them
at a pawn shop or something.

Now this particular lamp has a lid on it.
Maybe that's my problem — no lid.

But in spite of my best efforts at rubbing it and polishing it and such,
my magic lamp doesn't seem to be working. I've tried using incantations
along with the rubbing, phrases like Abracadabra!, or Shazzam!
or C'mon baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes! I also tried Open
though I think that is for opening doors. I tried it anyway.
No luck. I also tried Alajazzeera! until I realized that was an arab
television network.

The lamp was missing its lid when I got it. So I thought that maybe
that was the problem — the genie had already gotten out, rendering the
lamp ineffective. So basically what I've got is a lamp that has already
been used up in terms of the genie and getting any wishes.

But then I got to thinking that the missing lid and the fact that the
lamp apparently didn't work was just a "test of faith" kind of thing.
The genie is really still in the lamp, but wants to know that I believe
in the lamp and that I'm willing to stick with it. So I'm sticking with
it. At least for now.

Incidentally, I think I've found a loophole in the old You can't wish
for wishes
rule. What you do is you wish for more lamps. By doing
that, you would have a constant supply of new lamps and thus
new wishes.

I think I'm going to give it another couple of months. If the lamp isn't
working by then, I'm going to start hitting the garage sales.