In one of her more exciting moments.
We are now at the beginning of that long season of awards shows in which
movie and television people get together to get dressed up, hand out
awards to each other, pat each other on the back and kiss each other's
ass and tell each other how great they were during the past year.
Now the mystery and detective fiction genre has its own awards, too.
Like the Shamus Awards or the Edgar Awards. But those aren't
televised like the Emmys or the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards
or countless other award shows in the entertainment industry. And the
attendance at them is limited to a much smaller group, so there at least
the back-patting and ass-kissing are kept under control somewhat.
Now I was originally going to put up some P.M.P.I. Film Awards for the
past year, too. Until I realized what a total waste of my time that would
be. I'd be better off spending my time learning two or three words in
Croatian or something. At least that way I might be able to communicate
better if I ever went to Croatia.
But there is one award I would like to give out this year. That is for
Most Boring Actress.
This year's winner is Cate Blanchett.
Blanchett certainly did have lovely eyes in her role as Galadriel in
The Lord of the Rings. But I caught her on Charlie Rose a couple of weeks
ago and I swear the woman has to be one of the most boring people on
earth. This in spite of the fact that she was talking about a movie I
was actually interested in. After about three minutes, I had to turn the
channel. I don't care if Blanchett were talking about private-eye fiction
or even sea-turtles, she would still put me to sleep.
For her award, Blanchett gets a free pack of Western Family matches.
No need to thank me, Cate.
(Matches shown may not be identical to actual award matches.)