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Map showing the epicenter of the Kent earthquake.
Personally, I blame the French for this.

According to the BBC and other sources, a 4.3 magnitude earthquake hit
Kent, England on Saturday morning.

Earthquakes aren't typical in England, but they are not unknown, either.
Here are a few eyewitness reports about the incident.

KAROL STEELE, DOVER

Just before the earth shook there was a deep rumbling noise and the
whole of our street shook in an east-west motion.

[Well thank god it wasn't a north-south motion, those are the worst.]

LT. COLONEL SYDNEY CARR, DEAL

I have experienced an earthquake in Cyprus and the tremors this morning
were definitely similar, I would estimate an earthquake of about three
to four.

[He said, noticeably nonplussed, trimming his crisp moustache with a
small pair of scissors.]

HENDRICK VAN ECK, CANTERBURY

I was lying in bed and it felt as if someone had just got up from bed
next to me. I then heard the sound of cracking, and it was getting
heavier and heavier. It felt as if someone was at the end of my bed
hopping up and down.

[And this time it wasn't his crazy next door neighbor Ralph jumping
up and down on the bed.]

RACHAEL HILL, DOVER

It was a shocking experience and has frightened my son.

[But then, her son is also frightened by the full moon.]

PAUL SMYE-RUMSBY, DOVER

It was about 08.15 when suddenly the bed shook violently. I thought my
wife had got cramp or something but then I saw the curtains were moving
and the whole house was shaking.

[Hmmm, maybe we ought to put aside the Earthquake Theory for a moment
and reconsider the Cramp Theory.]

PAUL RICKARD, DOVER

It was only when we went outside and saw everyone looking out or
standing in the street that we realized it was a bigger event.

[And it was only then we freaked out.]

SAM MILLEN, FOLKESTONE

The whole place was shaking just after 8am, the TV was rocking backwards
and forwards, alarms going off, lamps smashed onto the floor, and now
the small cracks in the house have got a lot bigger.

[It was the cracks getting bigger that gave it away. Otherwise, just another
typical morning at the Millen's place.]

KEITH CRUSH, DOVER

My initial thoughts were, bearing in mind that we have mining tunnels
running under this part of Kent, that something had happened and that we
had experienced something from that.

[Sure. Just like in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.]

BEN MACPHEE, CANTERBURY

I was woken up by the bed shaking, my first thought was 'this feels like
an earthquake' but then I thought 'this is Kent, we don't get earthquakes'.
Apparently we do.

[Yeah, I wouldn't have trusted that bed-shaking evidence, either.]

WILL MAIDMENT, DEAL

I felt our whole flat sway from side to side and it lasted about five to
10 seconds, so I got up quick while it was still swaying. I thought the
place was falling down and looked out my lounge window and could see the
aerial on the house opposite shaking. Also the top of the lamppost was
swaying slightly.

[Also, her neighbors were swaying slightly.]

KAREN KONDO, MINSTER NEAR RAMSGATE

It was an eerie shaking from side to side lasting several seconds.

[Which, coincidentally, is exactly how geologists define an earthquake.]

I'm glad the earthquake wasn't any worse, of course. And that nobody was
killed. To the people of Kent I would just like to say, "good show!"

Respectfully submitted,

Edward White-Piercy

In the hallway

With a match

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