H.R.M. Queen Elizabeth II

Well America was all abuzz for some reason this week with the visit of
Queen Elizabeth II to our shores. It was really disgusting. The formal
white tie dinner at the White House was the hottest card in town, and
Republicans and Democrats alike were cruising Pennsylvania Avenue
giving blowjobs to try to get a ticket for the thing.

If I would have been at the dinner, I think I would have gone up to Liz
and said something like "So, your Majesty. You guys burned down our first
White House. What do you think of this new one?"

I wish I would have been President. I would have ordered all sorts of
tiny Hobbit furniture from the set of The Lord of the Rings and had it
put in her bedroom.

If Charles were king, I would have taken him on a nice walking tour of
the National Gallery of Art instead and asked him about his watercolors
and his most recent environmental efforts.

Charles I could handle. But Liz, she's just an old bat; and a perfect
example of why we kicked those people out in the first place.