I should have called it quits with my earlier
post on this subject. But the minute I saw these
photographs I knew I had to provide them as a
public service to my readers.
All of the photos used below are stolen from
— uh, "courtesy of" —
The Washington Post.
Queen Elizabeth arrives in America on board
her personal ship, the H.M.S. Mutinous Cargo.
It took her two weeks to get here.
Thousands of Americans crowd in to catch a glimpse
of the Queen of England. Unfortunately, they thought
they were waiting for Elton John.
And then they turned surly.
A group of juvenile paparazzi, working mostly for
The National Enquirer and The New York Post,
crowd around the Queen.
"You are absolutely right, your Magesty. There are certain
difficulties involved with masturbating in space."
"You look familiar. Are you from out of town? England,
you say? Great place, England. And now for our next number
at the Space Station Lounge, we'd like to do a little
Fleetwood Mac medley."
"The Porta-Potty is just up this way, Your Magesty."
Queen Elizabeth selects a popcorn cart to win the
133rd Kentucky Derby. As a result of the Queen's selection,
odds on the popcorn cart went down to 5-1.
Her Majesty had a good time playing with the
controls at a Strategic Air Command nuclear missle
silo outside Washington, D.C.
Loyal patriots attempted to bomb the crap out of the
Queen with a howitzer. Secret Service agents arrested
them ten minutes later and charged them with discharging
a firearm within city limits.
Queen Elizabeth stars in a cameo role
as herself on Survivor: Jamestown.
Don't you just hate it when these foreigners
come into our country and take jobs away from
Due to some confusion surrounding a certain
passage in Patriot Act II, all local feminists
were locked in a woodshed during the Queen's visit.
General Erwin Rommel and his wife attend the gala
white-tie banquet for the Queen held at the White House.
We apologize. The above photo is actually of
former Secretary of State Colin Powell and his wife.
The Whole Damn Crew.
The next white-tie gala will be held in
the newly remodeled wing of the
Walter Reed Veteran's Hospital.