Tags

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Paris Hilton's jail photo.

I have to admit, I've seen worse.

In case most of you haven't heard yet, and I'm sure a lot of you are
smart enough to have missed the topic completely, Paris Hilton has
checked in to a Los Angeles Jail to serve out her 23-45 day sentence
for violating probation on her drunk driving charge.

But I was really hard up for a post topic, let's put it that way. This
way too I get to create that Stuff That Doesn't Make A Damn Bit of
Difference in the Overall Scheme of Things
tag line that I've always
wanted to create.

On second thought, that tag is a little long. So I guess I'll just give
this the more typical Republic of Bullshit tag.

Anyway, Paris Hilton's lawyer, Richard Hutton, recently told reporters
that Paris would be spending her time in jail "reflecting on her life
and how to make the world better."

As fate would have it, P.M.P.I. has been lucky enough to get hold of
Paris' list of ideas for "making the world better." Remember, folks,
you read it here first.

HOW I WILL MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
WHEN I FINALLY GET OUT OF THIS STINKING HELL HOLE

by

Paris Hilton

1. Cure world hunger — LOTS of smoothies!

2. Use my influence to get all cops
AND ESPECIALLY THE NICE PRISON GUARDS
the big fat raise that they like
so totally deserve
(You're reading this over my shoulder,
right, Miss Prison Guard?)

3. Write a confession type book warning all young people
that they should definitely hire a fucking limo the
next time they go out and get drunk.

4. Bring peace to the Middle East by giving all the
Palestinians a free one-way plane ticket to Brazil.

5. Have that ugly whore Lindsay Lohan kidnapped and
taken to the South Pole so the people of the world
won't have to look at her ugly whore face.

6. Donate $50,000 to Amnesty International so they can
do whatever the fuck it is they do with money.