Some friends of my friend Julie were going to open up
a tea shop this weekend. But I thought she said cheese shop.
So I got to thinking about what it might be like to open a cheese shop…
Oathguard's Cheese Shop
Located in downtown Spokane's
trendy Black Hole district.
Get your cheese to go or have
a table and eat at our shop.
Stop by and visit us today!
Oathguard's Special Cheese
This cheese is based on a 300 year old recipe
passed down through generations. Goat's milk is
mixed with shark urine and then slowly warmed and
cured in metal containers over geothermal hot-springs
in Wyoming. For those who like more traditional
Miss Scarlett's Special Swiss
Named after the great actress Scarlett Johansson,
this soft, white, swiss-style cheese will have you
moaning with pleasure as you eat it. Buy this cheese
and watch a Scarlett Johansson movie for a double treat!
One of our pleasant servers will be
happy to bring you your cheese.
And remember, at Oathguard's the tea
is always free with every cheese order!
Greenlandic Seal Cheese
Once a year native Greenlanders milk local seals
and then Fed-Ex the milk to our cheese processing
facility in Spokane. The result is a soft yet tangy
tasting cheese similar to Gouda.
Blue Waters Aged Bleu Cheese
Our aged bleu cheese is over three years old
and is cured using methano-bacteria taken from
the intestines of Australian cattle. This marvelous
cheese will crinkle your nose with delight as you
bite into its marvelously chunky texture.
Columbia Nirvana Special Cheese
Our very finest cheese. The milk for this cheese
is taken only from the happiest sheep on the planet
and then processed by blind Zen monks using only
aged wooden tools and vats from Tibet. We guarantee
you will think you are in Nirvana with this cheese!
Kraft Cheese in a Spray Can
For our more traditional cheese enthusiasts,
yes, we have cheddar cheese in a can!
Great with Ritz crackers!
And many more fine cheeses…!
Stop by evenings 6-9 p.m. and listen to
heavenly harp music cranked up on our kick-ass
Bang and Olufsen sound system!