Water. I guess you kind of need this stuff.

As I mentioned in another post, Julie and me went to the "777" concert
here in Spokane last Saturday. I've been doing pretty well lately since
getting the new bi-ventricular pacemaker in terms of being able to get
around. But the weather last weekend was really hot and after spending
about an hour in the park, even in the cooler shade, I got dehydrated.
Dehydration can affect your electrolytes. Which in my case evidently
screwed up my heart function as well. As a result, I had to stop and
rest about four times just covering the six-block distance from
Riverfront Park to the Italian restaurant.

So it seems that there are still some things I don't know about the new
device and how to take better care of myself. Which got me to thinking
about other things that I still don't know.

So here's some things I don't know about my medical condition and have
been trying to figure out.

1. If I fly into Paris and my pacemaker sets off the security alarms,
would the French police still stick their hand up my ass even though I
have a Medical I.D. card?

2. Given that my maximum salt allowance on my Heart-Healthy Low-Sodium
Diet is 2000 mg per day — just how many margaritas is that?

3. If I would attend a dinner where I was seated next to Vice President
Dick Cheney, would we have a cordial time talking about our pacemakers?
Or would I just slug the bastard right at the outset?

4. Is there a race of intelligent fern somewhere in the universe? This
one doesn't have anything to do with medical stuff, I'm just curious.

5. Is the National Security Agency monitoring my pacemaker using global
tasking satellites? My first thought is that would be really stupid,
no intelligence agency would waste their time doing that. But after
thinking about it ten seconds longer, that seems to me EXACTLY the type
of stupid, senseless thing they would do.

6. How's that hot blonde nurse that I met at the hospital doing? I guess
that's not really a medical question either.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. I have an appointment with one
of my cardiologists later in the week. Maybe he knows something about the
intelligent fern thing.