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Harry Potter does some serious gettin-down in
Harry Potter and the Really Groovy Chics.

Well it may be winter in the southern hemisphere but up here in the
north it's hot as hell in most places, especially my apartment. When it
gets hot like this there's a variety of things you can do. If you have
air conditioning, you can just stay home as much as possible and keep
cool and try not to drink too much beer. If you are the outdoor type,
you can go to the local pool or nearby beach and jump in the water and
use those high temps to work on your tan.

Another thing you can do is duck into a movie theater for a few hours
and hang out in the air conditioning and watch a movie. As a service to
my readers, I thought I would do a quick overview of some of the summer's
movies that you might want to catch.

Harry Potter and the Really Groovy Chics.

I was surprised to find this installment of the tales featuring the
famous young wizard to be virtually a sequel to Boogie Nights.
And in fact Harry's chief incantation in this one is "Up tight — Out of
sight — In the groove." Harry and Luna hop in the back of a van and
get it on. Then Harry and Hermione do some coke and join the mile high
club riding Harry's broomstick — and in this movie you can define
"Harry's broomstick" in a couple different ways. At the end of the movie
there is a massive free-love-fest featuring most of the cast and various
strange mythological beasts. I kind of liked this movie. And the unicorns
were particularly impressive — they are half horse, you know.

Waiting for Danny-O.

Solidly in the tradition of Samuel Beckett, this movie deals with twelve
likeable criminals who hang out in a Las Vegas hotel suite waiting for a
guy named "Danny-O" — who may or may not show up. While waiting they
discuss iconography in ancient Byzantine art, the concept of dasein
in German philosophy, and just why the hell you can't get a good dollar cigar
anymore. They also drink one helluva lot of champagne and eat one helluva
lot of lobster. I found this one to be an okay movie, but make sure you've
had dinner first.

Transvestites

This one is about a guy who goes over to a friend's house to watch a
baseball game only to find that an alien ray from outer space has caused
his friend to put on women's clothing. Within a couple of hours, tens of
thousands of men all over New York City are shaving their legs and donning
women's dresses. Then they riot and begin looting the lingerie stores. The
National Guard is called in, but as it happens the National Guard turns out
to be 92 percent gay and all that happens is they ask the transvestites out
for coffee. I thought the plot a little predictable in this one, although the
costume designers did come up with some really great-looking dresses.

Whacko

Michael Moore's documentary about the American documentary film industry
and why it sucks. I found Moore to be wonderfully self-deprecating in this
movie, which is a nice change.

Live Free or Die Daily

In this continuation of the Die Hard series, ex-cop John McClane goes
to the middle east to help a fledgling democracy that has no frigging idea
what it is doing. My favorite line of the movie — "Watch out for that thing
on the side of the roa….Whoa!"


John McClane helps a citizen try to cross the
street in
Live Free or Die Daily.

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