Howie Mandel hosts on the new show
My Stupid Damn Dog.

Well September is almost here, and with it we will see a crop of new
television shows premiering. As always, some of these new shows are
destined to have a short life due to low ratings. For this reason the
networks always keep other shows back in the wings to replace the
failed shows as needed.

These are shows that haven't been announced yet. Nevertheless we here
at P.M.P.I. have managed to get the scoop on these new replacement
shows. Here's a list.

New Fall Replacement Shows

Survivor: New York City. In this gritty new reality show, 16 contestants
will be dropped dead center in the middle of Times Square in New York
with nothing but the clothes on their backs, a New York State I.D. card,
and twenty dollars in cash. Over the following 14 weeks the contestants
will compete with each other to see who can "pull themselves up by their
own bootstraps" and achieve the highest level of material security. The
winner will receive $1,000,000. Unlike former reality shows, contestants
won't vote each other off each week, but will be eliminated through natural
attrition as they are mugged, stabbed, shot, arrested, or just get sick of
being poor and quit the show.

Natasha and Sean. Can a hot blonde female international spy find happiness
with a likeable if somewhat naive tech-support guy? I guess we'll find out.

Just Plain Hard. CBS pulls another casting coup by hiring Patrick Swayze
to star in this series about a whacky, cross-dressing vampire from another
planet who comes back in time to work as a private-eye in contemporary
Los Angeles. Thereby making this series the most cross-genre show in the
history of television.

Funny, he doesn't look like an alien.

Hey, Let's Insult Cats! This whacky game show features a panel of celebrity
players who, together with guests contestants, see how many ways they can
come up with to insult cats.

My Stupid Damn Dog. Not to be outdone by the cat show, another network
is planning this "traveling reality show" in which host Howie Mandel travels
the nation to see who has the stupidest dog. (I might actually sign up
to be a guest on this one.)

CSI: Spokane. In this newest incarnation of CBS's popular crime drama,
actors Kelsey Grammer and Jennifer Finnigan play forensic investigators
who sit around and read the newspaper and run to Starbuck's while waiting
for the six or seven cases per year that may actually requite forensic
analysis in the City of Spokane.

Okay, I admit it. That last show
was just an excuse to post another
photo of Jennifer Finnigan.