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Last night, or I guess I should say very early this morning, my mom and
I passed (two ships?) in the living room. "Your computer came back on
with the screen" my mom said to me. "I didn't touch it or anything!"

What had happened was that the computer had automatically rebooted
after getting updates. But not knowing anything about computers, she
didn't know that. And I guess she wanted me to know that she didn't
do anything to cause any problems. "That's okay, Mom" I told her.
"It's possessed by Satan."

She was taken aback for a second at that. But then she waved me off
and continued back to the restroom — she like most people knows how
I bullshit and that it's best not to take me seriously most of the time.

I put my computer together in January 2001. And it's still running
okay — knock on wood. I run my box 24-7. Occassionally I will do a
restart for software or other purposes. And about twice a year, for
one reason or another, I hit the button on the box and turn the thing
completely off for about three minutes just to do a full hardware
reboot. Other than that, I don't touch it much.

As you can see from the photo (see above) the top of it is piled with
CDs and my cable modem and a portable drive that I haven't gotten
around to giving back to my friend Sean yet. On the side of the computer
you will see two printouts. The top is a cover from a report I did in
college — I like the graphic so I've kept it up there over the years.

The lower printout is a quote from Chuang Tse:

Those whom heaven helps we call the sons
of heaven. They do not learn this by learning.
They do not work it by working. They do not
reason it by using reason. To let understanding
stop at what cannot be understood is a high
attainment. Those who cannot do so will be
destroyed on the lathe of heaven.

I've had that quote up on the computer since I got the computer
together, and it has been my main go-to quote for the past 15 years or
so. I have an extremely aggressive mind, one that runs all over trying to
"find things out." The quote is a much needed and necessary medicine to
all of that, a kind of full hardware reboot. The Chuang Tse inhabits a
breadth and a depth that my normal mind-space cannot even come close
to. It teaches me that there are some things that simply cannot be known,
discovered, or even understood — at least not while I am still on this
little planet. Without it, I think that I might have gone insane at one
point or another over the years. Destroyed on the lathe of heaven.

It is also the main quote from Ursula K. Le Guin's book The Lathe of
Heaven,
which is where I first came across it. The book also has
intelligent turtles from outer space. So you know I'm gonna like that
aspect.

There have been several (two, I think) movie versions of The Lathe of
Heaven.
The one I like best is the older 1980 version. It used to be
that the movie had a Beatle's song running through it as the theme song.
But evidently due to some royalties bullshit the people that owned the
movie decided it would be cheaper for them to take out the original
Beatles song and replace it. Which is pure crap of course. But what
can you do.

It being Friday, I thought I would quote the original Beatles song as a
kind of thanks to all my friends who have been so kind to me over the
past week in my grief over Baron, a kind of Happy Weekend song.

So here you all are — Happy Weekend!

"With A Little Help From My Friends"

(by The Beatles)

What would think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
He gets high with a little help from his friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

What do I do when my love is away?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you're on your own?
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Oh…
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends.

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