Well I would never have known it if I hadn't gone
downtown yesterday, but evidently today is
National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

This be the day all we normally landlubbin' gents
and ladies can pretend we's sailin the seven seas
grabbin up booty and burnin' stuff ta the ground.

Meself, I plan to be waylayin and boardin
some fine ship or nother, and holdin some fair
lady for ransom. But not, of course, bufor
havin my evil pirate way with her! This bein
in the pirate trade what we call "perks."

The poor lass that I plan to be perkin'.

And of course I would get me ear bit off and
maybe me nose cut off by me fine lass crew
if I didn't include a good artsy thing of
Captain Jack — though he's not the pirate
I am I must admit he'd make a pretty good
cabin boy for me first mate Angeliki and
numerous other of ta crew. So here ya go.

And, in case you missed the excitin tale the first
time around, ya can read all about me lusty pirate
adventures in the Caribbean. Though this tale doesn't
include any perkin', it's still a good tale!