The Purina Puppy Crack Pipe.
(Shown actual size.)

I was looking at some of the effects of smoking crack:

  • Great pleasure, euphoria
  • Hyper-alertness
  • Great sense of well being
  • Decreased anxiety
  • Lowered inhibitions
  • More sociable
  • Heightened energy

It seems to me that my new puppy, Sasha, is exhibiting all of those

As well as a couple more — like attacking my toes and biting them. Or
pooping on the rug in the kitchen. Although come to think of it, that
might fit in with the lowered inhibitions thing.

I haven't quite figured out how she gets the crack. Or how she lights
the crack pipe with her little paws. Or where she is smoking the stuff at
(although she does often "disappear" for minutes at a time).

Well, looks like I had better start saving up my money to send her to