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As I've mentioned before I don't always keep up with
all the latest news. And I suppose that my friends didn't
tell me about this because they knew it would break my
heart. But it seems that my dear Miss Scarlett, Scarlett
Johansson, got married a couple of weeks ago to some bozo
named Ryan Reynolds.

Now I'm a pretty tolerant guy. And I'm a 70s type of guy.
But when your best girl runs off to Vancouver and marries
some shirtless hunk, well, I'm afraid I have to put my
foot down on that one.

I have no idea why anybody would be
interested in this guy.

So. Miss Scarlett now moves down the ladder to about
10th. Or maybe 9th, depending on what she is wearing.

Moving into 1st place on my list will be Kirsten Dunst
— "Stinky Little Kirsten" — who is currently single.

Well, I guess I won't complain too much.