The Amish Fireplace.
Is your living space too cold in winter?
Well now you can solve that problem with
a safe yet powerful heating unit that
simulates the look of a real fireplace.
The amazing Amish Fireplace is constructed
of high-grade materials and then framed in
an attractive unit in black, white, cherry
and oak models.
The Amish Fireplace is manufactured in
Holmes County, Ohio by real, actual Amish
people, known for their plain dress, rejection
of modern ways, and their tendency to drive
on the wrong side of the road.
Totally plain Amish people handcraft
each component of your new Amish Fireplace.
Don't let that ideology fool you. The Amish
Fireplace is capable of blasting out 1500 Watts
or 750 Watts into your severely heat-deprived
But there's more. Each Amish Fireplace has an
innovative amplifier and stereo speaker system
that pumps out a kick-ass 1000 Amps of pure,
clear, bright sound. Why duplicate your speaker
system? Get the Amish Fireplace and throw those
old, unattractive speakers away forever.
Impress the neighbors with the glorious stereo
sounds coming from your Amish Fireplace.
But there's even more than that. The convenient
remote control which operates the Amish Fireplace
is actually a handy, universal remote. Now control
your stereo, television, and DVD player all from
the same remote that controls your fireplace.
Want to control your Amish Fireplace from your
laptop? No problem. Thanks to the handy Bluetooth
capability of the Fireplace, you can set the unit
to operate from another room or turn it on before
you arrive home.
But wait, there's even more than the more
stuff already mentioned. Each Amish Fireplace
is also equipped with a state-of-the-art GPS
system. Not only will you always know where
your fireplace is, but you will know where you
are also if you are standing alongside it!
And perhaps you are tired of waiting, but
you will be glad to have waited even longer
when we tell you that as of December 2009
each Amish Fireplace will be fully integrated
with Apple laptops and the iPhone. Imagine
the convenience that will bring to your
incredibly jam-packed life.
Don't wait! Order yours today!
(Amish Fireplace not available in Madagascar.)
Harrison Ford will personally ensure the
quick delivery of your Amish Fireplace!