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After a lengthy and completely imaginary tour
of Paris, and going through a number of musical
entries, I figured that I would get back to basics.


At first putting sheep in Central Park seemed
like a good idea. Until they started disappearing
…one, by one, by one…


Years before Little Richard, and years before
Jerry Lee Lewis, there was Howlin' Sammy.


In spite of his fame as a theoretical physicist,
Albert Einstein was often forced to play the
violin to get his lunch money.


Most of the ballplayers had their Baseball
Annies. But Frank seemed to be the only
player with his own Baseball Marys.


After 4 weeks of intensive training, Coach
Williams was able to get the blonde fashion
model to hold the frisbee correctly.


Before Paris Hilton did it, before Lindsay
Lohan did it, before Britney Spears did
it, before Leelee Sobieski did it…
there was Molly O'Rourke.


The Chamber of Commerce's campaign to create
new jobs did have one positive effect: It
created a job putting up billboards for the
new Create New Jobs campaign.


After arguing for half an hour over who made
the best cherry cobbler, the women finally
decided to "take it outside."


Although Robert was surprised to find the
alligator under his seat at the train station,
he had to admit to himself that it would make
a damn fine paperweight.


It had finally come down to it: The last three
members of the National Rifle Association were
down to fighting over the last rifle.


It was the height of irony that Walter's successful
career as a minstrel man took a nosedive after people
discovered that he was, indeed, half black.


"Okay, who here has ever worked with explosives?
What about you — you ever worked with explosives?"


Everyone pretty much admitted that it was the
strangest production of Swan Lake that they
had ever seen.


Wearing her new girdle, Stella figured that she
had just enough time to get her hair done, go
shopping, and get home before she collapsed
from renal kidney failure.


One way or another, Pierre was sure that his
days as a train engineer were pretty much over.


Oppenheimer smoked nervously, wondering just
how long he could continue to show the
journalists around the nuclear test site
before his balls fell off.

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