Dorothy Hamill.

Last night I dreamed I was married. My new wife was just a tad shorter
than me, dark haired, and sort of looked like ice-skater Dorothy Hamill.
Unfortunately the marriage only lasted a few minutes — because I woke

It was 3:00 in the morning. Not being able to get back to sleep I grabbed
the Blackberry and did a Google search for Dorothy Hamill. I did a bit
of reading on Dorothy and looked at some photos, remembering those
exciting days — not only the Innsbruck Olympics but also the 70s.

Hamill was known for her ice skating of course. But she was also known
for her hair. She started out with a style called a Bowl Cut, then
shortened that a bit to what is known as a Wedge Cut. But back then
through some sort of television commercial or such it was known to most
as the "short and sassy look." I never did figure how the "sassy" entered
into it. Perhaps it was a vague feminist thing. Or maybe "sassy" referred
to anyone who had won an Olympic gold medal in ice-skating.

Also on Google I found a site that gives instructions to a hair stylist
on how to cut Dorothy's Wedge Cut. According to hairfinder.com, this is
how you do it:

To cut a proper wedge, section the hair, leaving down a ½-inch
perimeter and whatever shape of bangs area you desire. Cut the bangs
to the desired length, and cut a guide in the back to the desired length.
Cut the outline of the bottom edge of the hair cut as desired working
first from back to front on one side, then the other. Next let down the
hair and comb it down with a center parting. Carefully cut the guide for
your weight line, which generally curves from the bangs area to the
occipital bone in the back of the head. Once the weight line is estab-
lished, comb out thin vertical slices of the hair and raise the hair
to a 90-degree elevation. Cut the hair at an angle from the perimeter
length to the weight line. Start in the center back and work forward
on each side. Once completed cross-check the cut by combing out
sections horizontally and look for mismatched lengths.

I don't understand a bit of that other than it has something to do with
doing something to hair. It might as well be written in Sanskrit.

Luckily, the intructions for writing are much simpler:

Read like crazy. Then write until you get it right.

By following those simple directions you may very well end up as the
next Raymond Chandler or Louis L'Amour. Although I can't guarantee
that you will be described in any way as "sassy."