Is the glass half empty or is it half full?
Or does it simply cause cancer?

You know I was watching a television commercial for some
medication or other, listening to the disclaimer they always
seem to put in at the end of them now. As if to say This drug will
be good for you. Although in other ways it might be bad for you.

It occurred to me that one of these days we are likely to see
disclaimers on everything, even water…

CAUTION: Spokane tap water contains traces of heavy metals
from the Coeur d'Alene aquifer that may hazardous to your
health. Please consult a physician before consuming Spokane
tap water. Women who are nursing or pregnant or who may
become pregnant should not drink tap water — we don't really
know if that will be a problem but we have to cover our ass.

Eventually, I think that some talented biochemist is going
to prove conclusively that everything on this planet is bad
for you, to one degree or another. In which case none of it
will make any difference.