Rosauer's grocery, January 2008.
I.
For a good while now I've been thinking about time, about
my experience of time.
Looking back before my illness, when I was studying out at
Eastern Washington University, it all seems almost like
another lifetime now. But it has only been five years really
since all that. And looking back to the death of my good dog
Baron in 2008 seems so long ago too; that being only about
two and a half years ago.
But it wasn't always that way. When I was younger, say in
my 20s, a year seemed to take a pretty long while to progress.
For me the years of the 80s seemed to transpire across a broad
continuum. A new year would roll in; I would change to a new
calendar; and so much would seem to happen and so many miles
traveled before the pages of a new calendar needed to be opened.
Today, the months seem to pass so quickly. And there seems
barely the bat of an eye before I've gone through another day.
I watch a certain program on television on Monday; and then it
seems I am sitting there watching it again. "Wasn't I just sitting
here doing this?" I sometimes ask myself. And yes, I was; but
it was a week ago.
II.
Why does our concept of time change across the years? Why
is it that the months pass by in such a blur for me these
days? Is it that I am getting older? And if that is the cause,
why should that be?
Ah you know when we are young everything seems so new. New
things that we have never done before; new faces and person-
alities; new streets; new jobs and new plans to make. Perhaps
it is the freshness of youth that makes time pass so slowly. But
when we get older, it becomes much more "been there, done
that." We have all of this experience tucked away inside our
skulls.
III.
I do know that our brain chemistry changes as we get older.
I know this not from neurology, but from history. Creative
artists traditionally go through phases: the works of youth,
the works of maturity, and those of old age. While there are
some odd things about that view (Mozart for example went
through three creative phases even though dying at just 35),
I think that for most it holds. And I don't think those divisions
are merely that which we use for convenience. The works of
Beethoven's second phase are markedly different than those
of his first, and the third period works are different than his
second. A change occurs with time. In my view, it is a change
of consciousness. Part of this could perhaps be attributed to
experience gained across the years. But I think that there are
also differences that occur in the brain.
When we are young, our consciousness tends more toward
analysis, to breaking the world into parts. But as we age,
that analytical function is gradually eclipsed by a synthetic
function, with bringing things together. The late works of
Beethoven use a thematic compression that was just not there
— or perhaps even imagined — in his youth. I think we are
all this way to one degree or another.
Perhaps that might explain the progressive rush of time
across the years and how we perceive it. When we are young,
and busy pulling the world apart at the seams, that also
influences our perception of time. But when we are older
things becomes more synthetic — time melds, becomes
more compact, more compressed.
IV.
Of course there is the old phrase "how time flies when you
are having fun." But in that case I should be having one
hell of a lot more fun these days. Unfortunately, not true.
Not that my life is bad by any great means.
V.
All our time is but the wink of a star's eye.
Rosauer's grocery, December 2010.
What puzzles me most about time is the things we forget. When I was a young journalist we were told that when it comes to news, people only remember two weeks back; so if you write a news story that connects to something that happened more than two weeks ago, you would have to refresh people's memories by bringing a short review. And if the story is more than two years old, you might as well forget about it. People would have long since forgotten.And then there is the question whether the things we remember really happened. Perhaps we think we remember clearly, but are we certain about that. They say, our mind has a way of filling out the grey spots. How much is true memory and how much is something our mind puts in?Makes you wonder…I like these musings of yours. Makes me think about stuff, and I happen to like thinking about stuff.
Originally posted by Aqualion:
All that is certainly a component also. You know for decades I thought the line in David Bowie's song "Ashes to Ashes" wasand the Chap girls and their silver slipswhereas it is actually just pictures of Jap girls in synthesisA false belief, carried across years. "True memory" — I notice that a lot in people that I know well — they say something regarding something in the past that I know is false. But of course they're my friends…so I don't say anything. And I thank you for always joining in on such with your own thoughts. :up:
You're welcome.
Originally posted by Aqualion:
Ditto.I've wondered a lot about the difference in the speed of time as perceived in youth and from the distance of age. The only theory I've been able to formulate that makes any sense to me is that when we're young, we live in the here and now, which makes time seem to take longer. As we near the end of our mortality, we seem to take on an eternal perspective, where we wonder, What's next? The knowledge–or the hope–of something more than this, after this, makes time as we know it seem less significant, perhaps, so we look for other ways to look at time. Our changing perspectives account for the difference in the speed of the days and years.I'm not stating this as fact, or even as an opinion. Just a theory. Something I wonder about.I wonder about a lot of stuff.:lol:Happy New Year, Edward! This is gonna be your year.:heart:
@ Star.I think that is an interesting theory, and thanks for adding it here, Star. Probably no way to know for sure on any of this, but getting different views certainly helps.Happy New Year, S.!:heart:
In my teens, time never seem to pass, like it was staying at same hour for days.In my twenties, it started to move. Somewhat.In my thirties I was surprised: How come I am almost 40? :left:In my forties time is going with a speed of light… I am worried what will happen in my fifties. Is there anything faster than a speed of light?:insane:Happy New Year, Ed!!! :cheers:p.s. I can see a Mount Baker from Vancouver these days when it finaly stopped raining :happy:
When I was younger I often got bored. Actually, in retrospect, I think that one of the reasons why I developed a drinking problem was shere boredom. Doesn't have to be more complicated than that. This has stopped. I very rarely get bored. I can sit around most day doing practically nothing and still not get bored. I sometimes wonder if it has something to do with the life I have been living in the meantime. When you are young and bored, you wait for something to happen, for a sudden change. As you grow older you realize that not all sudden changes are for the better, so you stop waiting for things to happen. Actually I am perfectly satisfied with nothing happening at all. Except of course for the things I want to happen. Like winning a million dollars in the lottery.
:yes:
@ Darko.Sounds like your own experience is similar to my own. Must be awfully clear to see Mt. Baker. Enjoy the view!@ Martin.Originally posted by Aqualion:
Here here! Change is bad! :)I do have a rather significant length Wish List at Amazon.com, though. :p
Ah, I like these musings of yours too Ed. When I finally get back to my painting, I'll be in the old age phase. Some would consider me there now but I'd like to think not quite yet. I've got lots of ideas going through my head, or rather, lots of visuals of paintings. Too bad there isn't some advanced technology that would take the paintings dancing around in my head and put them to canvas….or at least to a computer screen. Wouldn't that be cool? I remember specifically thinking about time, getting older, etc., after I'd seen the movie 2001: Space Odyssey and thinking I'd be 51 in 2001. I thought….gawd, I'd be really old! It's a wonder why it all seems to go faster as we age. Since my move to another state completely different from where I lived for the 60 years previous, things seemed to have slowed…or something. It's almost as if I'm in a different life and that the previous chapter ended more than just a few months ago. Sometimes it feels very strange. My daughter, Kathy, just commented to me yesterday on why she thinks I stare out the window. She thinks I'm hoping to see something familiar, as if I was still in Arizona. I told her no, I'd been staring out windows since I was very little. Like I was watching tv? Or, watching the world go by? Maybe.
@ Pam.A move can certainly change things up. I've made a few major ones in my life, for various reasons. A new city, a new life. I know what you are talking about there.