"O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else?
And shall I couple hell? — O, fie! — Hold, my heart;
And you my sinews grow not instant old, but bear me
stiffly up."
— Shakespeare, Hamlet, I.v.
I got tired very early last night. In fact after supper I went
to bed at 5:00 p.m. and slept pretty much through until 5:00 a.m.
this morning. I guess the past few days caught up with me.
And I had some good dreams. It's all a little bit hazy, but
I remember something about music, the violin, and if I'm not
mistaken Valentina Lisitsa made a brief appearance.
Which is a lot different than the way it has been these past
years. Before my recent surgery brought my blood oxygen level
up, the poor oxygen I was getting at night, even with the oxygen
cannula on, produced some pretty terrible dreams, horrible weird
stuff that didn't seem connected to my life at all but seemed to
emanate from some level of Dante's hell. Even knowing the dreams
were the product of low oxygen I was beginning to wonder about
myself, about what dark things might be inside of me.
But, no. Turns out I'm okay, that it's a matter of body — not
of soul.
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This Insubstantial Pageant Faded 
Originally posted by devans186:
I think we all underestimate how much our bodies influence our mental state. There's a tendency to think that what goes in the mind is somehow separate and controllable by force of will. That has never been so. So glad your dream world is brightening!
Our minds are basically solid………..it's the situations we live in and through that affect our thinking. These usually occur little by little over time and can veer our long term thinking process toward what you mentioned your dreams were like prior to your surgery.I'm glad to hear you can resume a clearer thought, (dream), process."May you have many long days and pleasant nights" 😀
Originally posted by edwardpiercy:
Sorry to say that I don't think so, however, the mind is strong and can be guided from within, by you, one can't go back……only forward…..make that place what you want it to be.Some of us that are getting older may have had the opportunity to watch our parents or others close to us, in aging situations. One of the problems with aging is that we have so much time to THINK, our bodies are aging but our mind is still as young and vibrant.Like Richard mentioned, our bodies do effect our thinking.The older I get the more I think about a "bucket list" and acting upon it.I don't want to slowly wither away.Keep smiling……. 😀
@ Devans.Good points. The interesting question for me is whether it will ever be possible for my mind to return back to where it was before I was told I had a terminal illness. My own view at least right now is that it isn't possible…not at all…once you leave, you leave.@ Richard.Originally posted by musickna:
Ah yes and look at how many people look at that and judge those who are sick or perhaps have a psychological condition, as if they could just fix such by will power. So occasionally it is not only fighting to fix our bodies, but to endure the judgement of other people.
Originally posted by edwardpiercy:
That is so true, Ed. In my experience, that is.Good for you. With the dreams. Seems everything worked out, then. Welcome back. It would be wrong to say 'welcome back in one piece', because actually you have an additional piece now. I mean, that was the general idea after all, wasn't it?Now I am blah blahing again. I'm afraid surgery won't help that. Blah.
Originally posted by devans186:
You know it took me almost 2 years to finally make out a will after my diagnosis. Not because I hadn't accepted the situation, I had reached the point where I very much did, but the thought of the disposition of affairs was just so frigging depressing. 😦
@ Martin.You know Martin my last girlfriend never would never believe that my heart condition wasn't due to smoking, even though I went through my medical history with her at least 3 times and explained it all. I guess she would rather it be my own fault than to think that it was just some sharp poke of fate. Terrible. BTW if you don't mind talking about it, do you take any pain killer for your knee still? Just curious.
"…horrible weird stuff that didn't seem connected to my life at all but seemed to emanate from some level of Dante's hell."Sounds like me when I go to bed after having too much food for dinner :doh: :cheers:
The entire situation is depressing…………I can't fathom being informed that an illness is terminal.You know that feeling and depression is a natural result. No wonder your dreams were what you expressed and your conscious thinking had to be affected dramatically.I can only express that all of our thoughts are with you and we are so happy that there has been some positive progress.Your handling of your recent experience was phenomenal from our seat and I hope there is further positive progress, again……………"May you have many long days and pleasant nights"
Originally posted by devans186:
Well said, devans!
@ Devans @ Richard.Thanks! Yes, I can't wait to get out of this recuperative phase. Should be a couple more days. :D@ Darko.:lol: Too much spicy chili? :p
Too much of anything… :left:
Originally posted by edwardpiercy:
I don't mind at all. I only take ordinary painkillers now, preferably arthritis products like Ibuprofen. I don't know if I've mentioned that I have been going to the physiotherapist who told me to start exercising, and since walking is the only thing I can do, I've been walking like crazy lately. This has improved the muscular strength of my legs. Still have constant pain, but not as bad as before.Thanks for asking.
Originally posted by edwardpiercy:
More than occasionally, in my experience.But something I found a few years ago gave me so much strength, and I can't tell you how much hope:
Helped me to fully understand that it's my brain that is screwed up, and not my mind.Even if very few other people ever understand that, I know it.So glad you're feeling better, and were able to get so much rest last night. That's what you need right now. But next week, it'll be hard to hold you down.:heart:
@ Darko.:lol:@ Martin.It's good to know that you have some relief. Garabedian told me that I should "push myself" — not perhaps right now but in a while. Which perhaps parallels what you therapist told you. To build up your muscles it does seem to me would make it easier on your knee.:yes:@ Star.I really don't know why people think what they do sometimes; but you are right, we have to have the power within ourselves.You are right about next week. I still haven't had my Thai noodles yet for the month and am chomping at the bit even now. 😆
Hmm.. I think I was one of the first to see this post…I had to wait because I was really struck by that last sentence, and it got me thinking alot.It also got me thinking about your lack of oxygen. I can see how that could possibly change the way we think. I also thought of the Evil one who would like to discourage us in as many ways as possible and attacks us where we are weak. 😡 This successfull procedure of yours and your inspiring and vivid dreams tell me their is something more powerful and holier then we are, and a power who wishes to heal. I thank God for all He has done for you through this special doctor.I'm probably not making sense, but your recovery and experiences have boosted my faith in way I cannot describe. God love you!! 🙂 You are a gift–keep sharing all that you are!! :heart:
Wow, some deep stuff going on here Ed. Your dreams and the comments included. I've been dreaming like crazy the last few months….even in between bouts of insomnia. But……..since I've quit smoking, the bouts of insomnia are getting further and further apart. More oxygen to my brain perhaps? Martin is right about exercise. Walking is what I need to do more of. I've hardly been outside since December something, whenever it started snowing and got really bitter cold. It's going to be snowing from tonight through next Thursday too. You'd think with all the stairs in this house and looking after my granddaughter would be exercise enough for me but….not so. I've bought an infant car seat for my car and twice a week she and I are going to the mall for a 'mall walk'. At least it's nice and warm inside. I just have to avoid going in the food court entrance. Instead, we'll go in the back entrance where the pet store is and look at the cute animals, then spend an hour walking the main mall area.
Oh yeah …. the no ending story … … very instructive. and no less sad. you know I thought that to love people … yes, it's not easy…. it need to have the ability to understanding .. But now I realize that to love people is very dangerous, there's a good chance that you'll – be killed.Mentally or what? … i don't know. Ed, I wish you are speedy recovery.Think positive.
Back in the nineties I was into oriental stuff like Aikido and Tai Chi and such, because I had a drum teacher who told me that a little martial arts would improve my drumming. The Asians have a different approach to exercise that I relate to better than the European fitness trend which I don't believe is healthy at all. 'Pushing' one self is not completely good. You have to be very careful in that area. In my experience, that is. In many martial arts you exercise in intervals: first you work out until you can feel your pulse increasing, then you pause. Next step you exercise beyond the increasing pulse until you can feel your breathing increase, then you pause. Last you exercise beyond the rising pulse, increased breathing until you muscles start hurting and you stop completely. End of exercise. Pushing yourself beyond hurting muscles is not healthy. According to the Asians. I like that. Seems logical.
@ Pam.How did your dog ("CJ"?) adjust to the cold? I mean, he's a Phoenix raised dog, yeah? Poor baby!Well if anything you sound as if you are keeping busy. Just make sure to get in some play time, okay? :up:@ Mags.I don't subscribe to a dualistic concept of the Universe. There is plenty of Evil on Earth — and we humans make it. Thanks for the compliment, it feels very nice. 😮
@ Dizzy.Sounds like my novella — "That Killer Smile." :p
@ Martin.Strange that you should mention the martial arts, because that is how I am going to Push It according to Garabedian's directions.Tomorrow I am leaving for a mysterious island owned by and evil lord. Once I get there I will rest. Then I will attend a party where I will push it by lifting bottles of beer to my mouth. Then I will go to my bedroom and rest. In the middle of the night I will put on black clothing and sneak out of my room and investigate the remote wing of the evil lord's palace. Then I will run across a guard and I will kick his ass. Then I will rest a bit while slowly walking through the palace. Then I will come across another guard and kick his ass. Then I will rest as I discover what the evil lord is really up to. Then I will run into two guards and kick their asses. Then I will go back to my room and rest. The following day they will pair me up in a tournament with a big German guy and I will kick his ass. Then I will rest a bit, before all hell breaks loose and I go into the castle and find the evil lord and kick his ass several times. Then I will rest by going to Hawaii and laying on the beach. And then I will kick the ass of the hotel waiter who brings me the wrong drink.A good plan, I think.And so ends my total bullshit story for the day.
@ Dizzy.Oh I just didn't follow the "you'll be killed" line of thought I guess. Sorry.
Sounds like the first generation Nintendo game Linx.:lol:Hope you're feeling better today, Edward.:heart:
Sorry Ed, I don't understand, this technique of noncontact battle?))
Originally posted by Stardancer:
You mean the whole kicking the hotel waiter's ass thing?:pAh, see my latest on the Visit post. A bad night but I am feeling pretty much okay now. Although "okay" right now is kind of a relative term.And thanks.Love ya bunches!
LMAO.Yeah I guess I forgot that part. 😀
You left out the incredibly hot Kung Fu chick who is supposed to be the evil lord's lover but actually is the daughter of the true lord of the island whose dead remains are burried in a secret underground temple but whose spirit comes visit her in the night to tell her that you are the chosen, so she falls in love with you, but she can't tell you because she knows it will destroy your Chi, and assisting your escape from the island she gets killed, but she is not really dead, and it turns out that the hot waitress in your Hawaiian resort has a peculiar resemblance to her. The End. Credits. Hard rock theme.
Well I will have Debbie Gibson to help me out with that one. She has a lot of experience in that area. And she wears minimal clothing.
You also left out the bit about the hotel waiter whose ass you kicked who moonlights as a Trance DJ and later that night hypnotized a club full of Ecstasy-saturated zombies with several spins of Lost Witness's 'Red Sun Rising' into a frenzied attack on the hotel leaving you to escape the ruins with only with a pair of boxer shorts and your Blackberry. Fortunately, sunrise found you on the beach surrounded by exhausted but contented disco babes, still with boxer shorts, Blackberry and a soundtrack of choice Chill-out music. That last part is the bit I remember best!
Well at least I will still have my Blackberry so that I can email you with all the action.
But will it be enough to stop the giant stop motion octupus that crawls up from the sea?
Ha! I was born in 1955. :)You know it seemed to me that the octopus started out in Hawaii, then decided to move to San Francisco?I guess I could recruit that Faith Domergue woman to help along with me and Debbie Gibson. Cool flick! :yes:
… and as it is, I am actually watching a documentary on modern cryptozoologists right now.