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A screen shot from the Test Pattern Channel.

The executives of the Test Pattern Channel, a 24 hour cable channel
devoted to broadcasting a test pattern with white noise in the background,
today announced that it would be going off the air as of August 25, 2011.

Ambrose Bierce, the President of the channel, gave financial reasons for
the channel's demise.

"When people went to the Test Pattern Channel we figured they wanted
nothing but the test pattern, not commercials" Bierce said. "And it was
tough getting by solely on viewer contributions and government grants."

Bierce stated that the real fall of the axe came when the channel lost
its annual $1.2 million dollar grant from the National Endowment for the
Arts. "Losing that, we just couldn't cut it anymore."

It was also announced that Bierce and the Test Pattern Channel's original
creators were already developing a new cable offering, the Fingernails
Scratching Across a Blackboard Channel. "We're pretty sure nobody will
mind commercials on that one" Bierce stated.

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