Well so far at least that big bag of money that I have
been hoping would parachute down from the sky has failed
to appear. I did get a small bag of money a few months
ago. But it was a very small amount of money, only a
few dollars, and hardly enough to make even my modest
dreams come true.
So I thought that I might have to get a little bit more
proactive in all of this. And since it's not possible
for me to go out and get a really high paying job, I
will have to find some other solution.
In March my sister bought us a shamrock plant. I think
she was just looking forward to her birthday on St.
Patrick's Day. We named the plant Marie — my sister's
middle name. When she gave it to us she said that we
shouldn't be too surprised if it died because that type
of plant ordinarily does last too long. And in fact the
plant has almost given up the ghost a couple of times
since then. But so far we have been able to keep Marie
alive by doing a type of emergency paramedic thing.
But that might not last, of course. So yesterday I got
to thinking about Marie and mortality, and I came up
with an idea: I would take out life insurance on the
plant. That way if Marie continued to live that would
be great (at least from Marie's point of view), but
if she died then I could collect the money and realize
a few of those dreams I have.
It wouldn't have to be a lot of money — my needs are
not that great and in any case I wouldn't want to
arouse the suspicion of the insurance company. I was
thinking maybe a policy for $50,000. Not a great sum
but one that I could put to great use.
Of course I would have to fill out the application for
the policy. And I would have to use some subterfuge of
Maybe something like this:
NAME OF INSURED: Marie Plant [No relation to Robert Plant.]
AGE: 42 [That would be in plant years, of course.]
OCCUPATION: Environmental support
NAME OF BENEFICIARY: Edward Piercy
RELATION TO BENEFICIARY: Adopted daughter
KNOWN MEDICAL CONDITIONS OF INSURED: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
When Marie dies I would of course have to get on photoshop
and come up with some official looking Death Certificate,
then print it out on some old type of paper that looks
like it came from a Coroner and not the paper bin of an
ink jet printer.
I was considering "Dehydration" as Cause Of Death. What do