After over half a century of battling Nazis and other evil bastards,
Captain America died today in his New York City townhome.
"It looks like he slipped in the shower" said Jerry Garzia, Chief
Forensic investigator for the NYPD. "He was lathering up, soap got down
on the bottom of the tub, and he slipped."
Detectives assigned to the case mentioned that Captain America "died a
valiant death," mentioning that he appreared to have "put up a fight and
grabbed that shower curtain with all his might" before he went down.
"I see this type of thing all the time" Garzia added. "When are people
going to learn to put in rubberized bath mats?"
Captain America was survived by his wife, Jill, a former Miss America.